The De-Evolution of Man:Political Satire, Corporate Satire and more…

Fuk U finished her electronic cigarette, although she’d been trying to quit utilizing this method, it just hadn’t seemed to work. She’d ran across these electronic cigarettes while surfing the internet several months ago, but the chocolate flavor of ones of these, just made her smoke more. She did love chocolate, liked she loved Tae Kwon Do, Bruce Lee movies and mega-man. she hoped no one would learn of her weakness for this imbecile, but he did have an attraction.

After paying, the two departed quickly. Anxious to get to the Gulf and save the civilized world from this disaster. Mega-man still didn’t understand the tragedy or how oil got spilled in the sea, it seemed like a pretty big place and why would anyone want to spill it anyway?

Fuk U  explained on the way, in the cab, to the airport that the entire civilized world may be in jeopardy.

After arriving at the airport, they purchased two first-class tickets to New Orleans, Louisiana and then boarded the plane.

While awaiting departure Fuk U said. “We arrive in four hours and we have many things to do, to find the machine. Many oil is spilled in the gulf and many peoples lives are affected by the problems. We make better, you understand Mega-dummy.” Fuk U turned and smiled at Megaman, then slapped him in the back of the head.

Megaman continued his charade of weakness toward this obviously misinformed woman. Didn’t she realize he had superhuman strength and a superior intellect?

Didn’t she realize that any effort on her part to control or sabotage his efforts would be futile?

He thought for a moment about correcting her behavior, to set the record straight, as it were but then he decided that getting to the gulf and dealing with this catastrophe would be the best course of action. This planet needed him to save them and if it meant allowing people to think he was an idiot well, he’d do it.

The plane taxied down the runway, took-off and landed in New Orleans, without delay.

Mega-Man and Fuk U exited the plane into the smoldering heat of New Orleans. They gathered their luggage and proceeded to a hotel, checked in and got settled in their room.

Fuk U changed and said ” I go investigate; you stay here, so you know fuck it up. No leave Mega dummy.” Fuk U turned and left, locked the door and scurried down the hall to a destination unknown.

Soon after she left our hero MM heard a knock on the door,  he answered the door innocently.

The door opened and two men stood at the door, two large men, in black suits with dark mirrored sunglasses, the man on mega-man’s left was a short balding man that motioned with his head to someone or something hidden from mega-mans view down the hall.

Almost immediately another man appeared, older, distinguished looking, less severe and terrifying in physical sense, but the way he carried himself gave the impression he was someone not to be fucked with. He parted the black suits and began. “Ah Megaman is here to save the entire civilized world is he? Well doesn’t that make me feel just all warm inside? The entire civilized world is just all warm and fuzzy inside waiting for your efforts, but you know if you listen to those liberal goody two – shoes, you will never figure out what is wrong. Well, interested Mega fool. Interested in learning the truth.”

“Hey listen. I find your derogatory remarks to me, less than acceptable and if you continue with such an interchange I will be forced to utilize my superior alien intellect and physical prowess to neutralize…”

“Oh will you shut-up…listen the real problem here isn’t the big bad oil companies as some would have you believe. This is nothing other than an attempt to destroy the livelihood of the billionaire executives at the oil companies; these people are stealing our oil. They are sending boatloads of people to the gulf to scoop up our property; this is billions of dollars of oil. They claim they are doing environmental clean up, but this merely a cover-up. Ah, I see by your expression you doubt my claims, look at these videos and you will see these people, taking harmless black sludge from the sea. Listen Mega-foo..I mean mega-man, we were merely trying to save the people lots of money, by spilling the oil onto the water and letting it drift unto shore then we were going to ship it to gas stations, think of the savings. But no.. these people accuse us of all kinds of crimes, we are the victims here and we need an idiot, I mean a intelligent man like yourself to stop this travesty. On this video you will see all the evidence you will need. Now look at this video. Just a moment while we set-up.”

“What of the Oil machine? any idea who stole it?”

“Ah yes we just might be able to help you, but of course we’d need a small favor in return. Look at the video and then we’ll talk.”

The two giants, plodded to the TV, swung it around so the back was accessible, the shorter ape held the wires and the taller held the player, both stared at each other, dumb looks on their faces.

Megaman jumped up and moved toward the two “Oh gentlemen I have been trained concerning your Earth high technology products and would be glad to assist in the connection of the devices. Here stand aside.” The two men parted with shrugs and blank faces. They leaned over with dumb blank faces, the  distinguished gentlemen standing behind them, sighed loudly. “What did I do to deserve these idiots?”

Mega-man wanting to gain this man confidence turned his head and said. “Not to worry sir, I’m sure that these men have there expertise and not to belated them, but I was thoroughly trained in all aspects of Earth technology and no…Now here these two wires…yes connected here…AAAHHHHHH.”

Mega-man shot upwards and backwards as the electric current shot through his body, his elbows caught both men under their chins, knocking both men  over, there over-beefed bodies shaking the room as they hit the floor.  Not slowed by the initial collision his body continued flying out of control, flipping and turning as it traversed the small room. His body preformed a weightless ballet of sorts as it continued to flip and turn, rotate and flop, through the air, slowly and effortlessly.

The distinguished leader ducked, once the airborne ballerina neared, then he laughed, then mega-man hit the wall.  then a thump erupted. Then a PHHHTTT.

The distinguished gentleman sniffed the air. Coughed, then gagged.  For the impact  had released a toxic gas no earthling had ever smelled.  A gas harmless and even pleasant to pronghornians. The leader immediately dropped to the floor.

“I do say I’m sorry for the indiscretion, but your food here on Earth doesn’t seem to appeal to me.I see that my gaseous discharge is toxic to your olfactory nerves. Now on pronghornia it is quite an honor to be selected to smell another gaseous discharge, reserved for the..I apologize, but it seems that your auditory, ears aren’t..Oh I do have so much to learn.” Megaman retired to the bathroom, he made a mental note to be sure to be careful of passing  gas, for these Earthlings seem to be sensitive to the odor.

When he returned someone had slid a note under the door. It read:

I have the machine, if you want it back meet me at the docks.

No name was added. Mega-man wrote a note for Fuk U and left.

When Fuk U returned a surprised look filled her young, serious face. As she surveyed the room,  three men lay unconscious on the floor and mega-man was missing. On the dresser a note read:

These men so responsibly have explained to me why we have journeyed to the gulf. These poor oil tycoons, with only billions to their name, with a monopoly on the energy of the entire world are being robbed of their livelihood. I have seen how these thousands of workers have been sent to the gulf to steal the oil of these men. This oil is harming no one by floating on the open seas, yet these environmentalists as they have been called feel it is their right to take the oil from the seas and take it to who knows what location. In addition, what of these birds and fish, using all this oil to cover their bodies in what I believe to be some sort of perverse mating ritual. Yes, I understand now, this is a travesty. If these people are aloud to continue to steal the oil then how will these men be able to continue to peacefully yacht as the rest of the world fights over the limited resources. The…”

The pen seemed to have run out of ink and with mega-man’s penchant to ramble, she was glad. What would he screw up now, she thought.

Written by Greg