The De-Evolution of Man:Political Satire, Corporate Satire and more…

Dexter‘s studies continued even as the ambulance roared through the city streets, even as the ambulance raced through turn after turn, even as his body seemingly graced with a heavenly ability to drift left then right while his eyes amazingly stayed focused on the bible on his lap. Dexter was truly a blessed man, Dexter believed that he had a purpose, a purpose to serve man for a greater good, a much greater good than roaring around in an ambulance saving men and women from a life of gorging on fatty foods and excessive living, pounding on their chests in desperation, breathing life into their flesh destined for hell.

No Dexter had no desire to save man’s physical body; he wanted to save their souls. He knew that one-day it would come true.

“Hey guys you got a good one…hahaha…it seems three people got themselves stuck together…one’s naked as a jaybird, wonder what they were doing, hey. Hey Dexter good time to save a couple souls.” Laughter erupted over the ambulance radio.

“Hey don’t worry Dex…They’re just picking on you, Yeh just picking. I’ll let you handle this one, since you’re the only pure one around.” Bob, Dexter’s long time redneck partner, laughed.

The ambulance pulled up to the house and Dexter immediately recognized it. The house was the house of one of the most devout members of the church and after listening to the predicament, Dexter could only wonder what kind of debauchery went on behind these doors.

But from Dolores?

His faith began to waiver, he did not want to enter the house and view the work of the devil as  every ambulance driver announced over the radio this would shame the church and shame his only place of solitude, he would have to quit and find another church, another place of worship, he would not stand for this.

Nor would God!

He entered the house and immediately he saw Dolores, Dolores appeared unamused to say the least, but she seemed calm. When she saw Dexter she seemed disappointed, disappointed that he’d be the one that would have to respond to this in her house. In her arms, she stroked a white soft furry cat.

He’d never met the cat, but the cat seemed to know him seemed to be digging into his soul searching for something and then it happened…

A voice from nowhere spoke “Yeh aren’t you going to do something, Dexter. The voice wasn’t one Dexter recognized and it came from everywhere and nowhere, from inside and outside his head at the same time.

Dexter turned quickly around then turned back toward the gathering crowd of police, firefighters and paramedics. TV news vans began arriving along with several what appeared to be newspaper journalists from the local paper. It seems this had become a circus.

“Dexter I’m in here. The cat. I’m in the cat Dexter. I’ve come to get my people out of bondage, Now if I could only remember what people they were, seemed I had someone right all that down in some kind of book. Now what was it called? Oh, I’m terribly sorry for the fiasco, this was the only way I could think to get you here. You know God does work in mysterious ways. I always loved that saying it rather is like a catchall, and it is sort of a test of your faith. I like to do that from time to time. Just walk over to the…well bodies and they will be magically separated. Oh no don’t speak. Just do it. It will be a miracle and the whole world will see that Dexter is a miracle worker. OK so do it! Step Forward…

Dexter stood paralyzed; staring at the pile of twisting and writhing flesh, two bodies of parishioners he’d never thought would ever be in a predicament such as this. How could God let this happen? How could allow this?

Actually, I think it’s quite funny, don’t you? I did it, I created the whole thing, I did it to test there faith and because I’m fucking bored, I was off for the last couple thousand of years creating new galaxies and frankly you people here are the most fun to pick on. You’re just a riot. Not my most intelligent works. OK, Do I have to do everything? What was the book? And who are these people that are in bondage?

With that, Monkey jumped from Dolores arms and pushed Dexter, he stumbled forward and fell onto the pile and immediately the group detached with POP.

The pastor’s wife, Beatrice, dropped to her knees and began to pray, asking forgiveness for her proximity to a naked man’s privates that were not hers due to marriage. The fat girl, Patty smiled at Bert, and then blushed, immediately a medic grabbed her and took her to the side offering medical attention.

Bert stood, naked and ashamed.

Monkey grinned. Monkey spoke not so all could here just so Bert and Dexter heard.

“Thou shall’t enjoy the Lord’s practical jokes. Oh my God was that hilarious, Bert you’re a clown. I’m going to have a riot working with you.” And God laughed for he enjoyed the trouble he’d created and when he was done, Monkey scattered off and rested, for God was tired.

But before he slept he said one last thing to Bert and Dexter his two new disciples. “We begin our journey tomorrow. I have new commandments and I will then free my people from bondage…oh can you find out who these fucking people are, it’s been so long I forgot. And the Lord rested.”

And Bert and Dexter were confused.

Written by Greg